Conception issues and delay in pregnancy is probably one of the most emotionally draining issue one can ever face. It’s not only the clinical diagnosis and the emotional and physical challenges a couple faces, but the constant stress of not being able to conceive, despite trying over long periods can also make you feel isolated, either from family and friends, or from each other.
It may also have a considerable impact on your relationship and could lead to constantly blaming the other person, and hiding your true feelings from your partner.
Delayed parenthood and difficulty in conception is increasing
Demanding and fast paced professional lives, decision to opt for parenthood only after a few years of marriage and lifestyle conditions like PCOD etc. have made many couples susceptible to finding themselves battling with medical issues and infertility. In fact, it is common to see first-time mothers to be thirty or older as opposed to being in the early twenties, just a couple of decades ago!
External pressure from family and friends:
Once you’ve passed a few years of being married, the questions from family and the supposedly well-meaning friends become a routine. It begins as jokes in the beginning, but can often lead to an uncomfortable conversation and awkward situations, when you’re least prepared for it. The social pressure to have a child is quite overwhelming.
The guilt that creeps in:
An unexpected delay in conceiving brings tremendous amount of guilt for both the partners. This usually happens when our bodies don’t perform what we’re expecting them to. This often leads to anxiety and depression. The feeling of self-pity, remorse and guilt, once it creeps in can be disastrous for any relationship.
Effects on Intimacy:
Once you start having sex more for trying to conceive and not solely for pleasure or as an act of making love, it can often become quite strenuous or even less appealing to you. This is normal. Sex can become a chore for couples trying to conceive, steering away from the beautiful act it is meant to be. Once you start disassociating sex from pleasure, it can lead to a lack of a sense of intimacy.
How to deal with the Preconception Stress
Trying for a pregnancy and not getting success is probably one of the worst roller coasters you will ever face in life. The endless probing, digging, nagging and a series of appointments, hospital visits, ultrasounds makes things worse for the couple.
All these factors can take quite a toll when you’re trying to conceive, without much duress. Here are some tips that can help you deal with these.
Share your feelings and talk about it with your partner. Find a coping group or a common circle of friends that you can confide in, while facing this battle. Reading more about pregnancy planning, and taking part in meaningful discussions across various platforms will definitely help you let off some steam.
Stop blaming yourself or your partner for the decision to delay your pregnancy. This is a reality that you are going to face together and playing the blame-game could lead to a serious impact on your relationship. Try to decide your borderlines as a couple and also how you both want to respond to awkward queries from friends and family around you.
Educate yourself and your partner on the possible reasons behind the delay in conception. Very often, a wrong timing is one of the primary reasons behind a failed conception. Gaining good knowledge about your cycle and planning your pregnancy in a better way will surely help you.
With a revolution in technology today it is easy to track your cycle, identify your most fertile days and plan your pregnancy accordingly. Things have surely turned a notch easier now while battling fertility issues. When you take advantage of modern aids like Fertility Monitors, your chances of getting pregnant are maximized.
Trying to conceive might seem like a full-time job at some point. Make sure you indulge in things that you always enjoyed doing together. It could be a hobby or a passion you pushed away in a closet long time back. This will keep your mind away from constantly second-guessing yourself.
Apart from this, maintaining a healthy lifestyle is mandatory for both of you. A balanced nutrition and regular physical exercise often boosts fertility and enables you in coping up with everyday stress. Laugh more, talk more and find ways to stay happy and optimistic.
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